In my opinion. STOP SHOOTING until you figure it out. You endanger yourself and all the shooters on the line as well as any spectators.
It's tough love....Stop !!
Dear Oldster52,
I think about the same issues with a couple caveats. I am 70+ years old. I too am not as fast, nimble and don't have the strength as I did 20 years ago. To carry (illegally) in NY is the least of my worries. My safety and well-being is paramount. IMO step one would be a avoid any...