Once upon a time

[Musashi]

I had an officer knock on my door several years back. He wanted to talk to my wife. The bastard, I wasn't married at the time. When I asked him what this was all about, he asked me to step outside to identify the woman who was in his car claiming to be my mistress. I never saw this woman before in my life! Apparently, she had stolen my new credit card from my mailbox and rang up close to $1000 on the card. We stood by the car while she claimed from the back seat in broken English, as she was Latino, that she was my mistress and had text messages between her and I to prove it. She gave permission to the officer when asked to see her phone and the texts. He opened the phone and for a moment stood there before a big smile came over his face in a slight giggle. He said to her, "I don't see any texts here to support your claims but are those pictures of your private parts that you sent to your boyfriend in jail?" I went back into the house as he drove away.

 

[Condition1]

That’s why I have my wife spoiled. She had an Aunt that emptied both barrels of a shotgun into her husband’s head while he was asleep. He would beat her and the kids. She put an end to that but She had to spend the rest of her life in an insane asylum.