Unfortunately, here’s the honest truth:
You gotta test it in YOUR gun, in YOUR hands.
Just because someone else's identical model gun likes ÜberDethwulf Exploding Hollow Points (for example), it doesn’t mean yours will. It's just the way it goes; things like tolerance stacking, slight machining differences, your actual grip, etc can make all the difference. So, you're gonna have to try stuff out.
Which, let’s face it, sucks the big one right now, with supplies being short and prices being high.
But, here's the good news: XD 9mm's tend to (TEND is the important word, there) not be very finicky when it comes to ammo. So...for practice/blasters, anything that you can get that's cheap should run....115grFMJ being by far the most common...and brand really doesn’t matter...seriously. I’ve run 9mm blasters from pretty much every major manufacturer in the US, and many in Europe(S&B,Fiocchi, GECO, RUAG), South/CentralAmerica (Magtech, Aguila)...Russia, even (Wolf, Barnaul, Tula, etc)...they all work in the vast majority of pistols I've owned.
As far as defensive ammo...
Lucky Gunner tests more than 110 different 9mm, 45 ACP, 40 S&W and 380 ACP handgun self-defense ammunition loads in ballistic gel with analysis and video.
www.luckygunner.com
Look there. Read up on what makes a good defensive round. Buy a box, try it. If it's 100% reliable, and shoots good enough to satisfy you, buy a couple more boxes and you should be good to go for a while.
And if you don’t want to try out defensive ammo...carry FMJ that you know runs in your pistol.