In my best Arkysawian literary prose, I recount this evening with my wife as we prepare for our night's slumber:
"Verily I say unto you good woman, do not haste with the application of your CPAP sleep mask for better breathing. Your efforts were easily betrayed by personal dialogue that could have waited until the morn. For you see, a fart containing the culinary souls of four bbq chicken legs and a belly full of Coors Light had entered our bed chamber unbeknownst to you. And upon reaching your second wind to talk, my first wind of silent deceit overtook you. Breaths were taken, lives were threatened, thoughts were lost, lessons were learned, and sleep was had after many accusatory and slanderous names were rightfully cast upon me"..... The End.