Human civilization on the edge

[HayesGreener]

There is a thin band of nerve endings in your rear end that can distinguish between gas, and solids.

Now just consider that human civilization is dependent upon that capability. Without it, humans would poop extemporaneously, like cows or goats. It would change the fashion industry. Sex would be a messy affair. Schools would be chambers of horror requiring cleaning with fire hoses rather than brooms. Government and business meetings would be short. And forget family dinners, banquets, and concerts. The horrors of restaurants, no fine dining. Nobody would want to go to movie theaters. Public transportation by cattle car. Long family car trips, no thanks.

Our entire civilization is based upon that thin band of nerve endings. No wonder the aliens want to study us by probing

 

[KillerFord1977]

There is a thin band of nerve endings in your rear end that can distinguish between gas, and solids.

Now just consider that human civilization is dependent upon that capability. Without it, humans would poop extemporaneously, like cows or goats. It would change the fashion industry. Sex would be a messy affair. Schools would be chambers of horror requiring cleaning with fire hoses rather than brooms. Government and business meetings would be short. And forget family dinners, banquets, and concerts. The horrors of restaurants, no fine dining. Nobody would want to go to movie theaters. Public transportation by cattle car. Long family car trips, no thanks.

Our entire civilization is based upon that thin band of nerve endings. No wonder the aliens want to study us by probing

You are really, really bored today I see

 

[mikep]

Well, the perk of short meetings certainly sounds appealing.

 

[HayesGreener]

You are really, really bored today I see

It's hot out there

 

[NMEDGE]

There is a thin band of nerve endings in your rear end that can distinguish between gas, and solids.

Now just consider that human civilization is dependent upon that capability. Without it, humans would poop extemporaneously, like cows or goats. It would change the fashion industry. Sex would be a messy affair. Schools would be chambers of horror requiring cleaning with fire hoses rather than brooms. Government and business meetings would be short. And forget family dinners, banquets, and concerts. The horrors of restaurants, no fine dining. Nobody would want to go to movie theaters. Public transportation by cattle car. Long family car trips, no thanks.

Our entire civilization is based upon that thin band of nerve endings. No wonder the aliens want to study us by probing

Sounded like a morning roll call meeting in an Aircraft Maintenance Unit with 40 crew chiefs!

 

[Pitdogg2]

I'm fairly certain that there's a segment of the population that didn't get that upgrade.
Ever been to Walmart?

 

[Talyn]

 

[SCraig]

This thread got me to thinking (I know, that's dangerous) about what position people would assume if the urge to let fly just came on any old time. There's really no reason to squat down, just spread your legs a bit to protect the shoes. Men probably wouldn't bother but a women with poop stains everywhere is not something I want to fathom.

Dammit, why do you guys do this to me? I DON'T want to think about subjects like this but now it's stuck in my head and I'll never get to sleep. Those shoe buffers we used to see in the restrooms of fancy restaurants will be born again with an altogether much uglier purpose. Poop-proof socks will be the next great invention! Auto-flushing car seats the dump out the back will be on the OEM list but God help you if you get behind a bus! The list goes on and now I'm gonna lay in bed and think about them all night. Thanks a bunch guys! You can't unfire a bullet and you can't unthink a thought.

Edited to remove the bad word. Sorry, I forgot where I was.

 

[HayesGreener]

This thread got me to thinking (I know, that's dangerous) about what position people would assume if the urge to let fly just came on any old time. There's really no reason to squat down, just spread your legs a bit to protect the shoes. Men probably wouldn't bother but a women with poop stains everywhere is not something I want to fathom.

Dammit, why do you guys do this to me? I DON'T want to think about subjects like this but now it's stuck in my head and I'll never get to sleep. Those shoe buffers we used to see in the restrooms of fancy restaurants will be born again with an altogether much uglier purpose. Poop-proof socks will be the next great invention! Auto-flushing car seats the dump out the back will be on the OEM list but God help you if you get behind a bus! The list goes on and now I'm gonna lay in bed and think about them all night. Thanks a bunch guys! You can't unfire a bullet and you can't unthink a thought.

Edited to remove the bad word. Sorry, I forgot where I was.

Mission accomplished!

 

[jumpinjoe]

There is a thin band of nerve endings in your rear end that can distinguish between gas, and solids.

Now just consider that human civilization is dependent upon that capability. Without it, humans would poop extemporaneously, like cows or goats. It would change the fashion industry. Sex would be a messy affair. Schools would be chambers of horror requiring cleaning with fire hoses rather than brooms. Government and business meetings would be short. And forget family dinners, banquets, and concerts. The horrors of restaurants, no fine dining. Nobody would want to go to movie theaters. Public transportation by cattle car. Long family car trips, no thanks.

Our entire civilization is based upon that thin band of nerve endings. No wonder the aliens want to study us by probing

I actually checked this thread to follow it, and I have no earthly idea why I did that!!!

 

[Jfal]

Not a shart mentioned as of yet. Very disappointing.

 

[Old_Me]

Not a shart mentioned as of yet. Very disappointing.

which is why its best to wear jockey shorts, rather than boxers, as to not drip or have logs running down your legs as you run to the bathroom....or the nearest bush.

 

[HayesGreener]

The experiment in Cognitive Stimulation Therapy here on the forum is yielding positive results! The intellectual capacity and mental acuity it reveals is bottomless! There is hope for us.

 

[PieterCoetzee]

We're laughing but I just saw something about a woman who "pooped" while sitting in her chair at a concert then emptied it onto the floor and tried to push it under the seat in front of her.

There are sooo many things wrong with that. Apparently she knew what she was doing as the people around her saw the straining face she was making BUT none of them stopped her or tried to stop her from wanting to push it under someone else's seat.

The story made it to the singer who posted something about saying the clean up crews were pissed...I F-ing guess so!


Maybe 40 years ago I was in a shopping mall and spotted a woman that wearing a sarong. She had been walking then just stopped. A few minutes later she continued walking, leaving a present on the floor. I chocked that up to another reason NOT to visit India

 

[mikep]

Not a shart mentioned as of yet. Very disappointing.

@Jfal i was just about to write, “beware the shart!”