Deer camp stories

[3L120]

Lots of stories of having to go take a dump in the woods. i once hunted about 120 miles from the house many years ago, so one night after the hunt my guts got to growlin real bad and i to hit the outhouse before i left to come home. so i yanked me drawers down and done my thing and started home, well got home and my wallet wasn't in my pants. i knew exactly where it was, 120 miles from there in the outhouse.

so this is about 10 at night and i tell the wife i gotta go back to camp. she ain't likin it and went with me. sure enough i get back up there and it's there under the seat on the ground. we get home about 2 the next morning. from then on i have wore a wallet with a chain on it.

Another time i stop and eat at a fast food restaurant and about half way there my stomach starts hurting. so i pull the truck over and take off for the woods. it's fixin to storm, i squatted up against a tree for a good long time and every time i go to pull my pants up here it comes again, anyway the storm makes it and i get soaked.

finally eased up enough where i got really close to camp and then started pukin. spent all night on the outhouse with a bucket to puke in.

Another time i had to get down out of the tree stand to go and it's cold as all get out. there is ice all over the ground, i forgot the toilet paper. no leaves anywhere to use. everything is under ice. so i used my knife to cut my undies up for TP.

Another time my son was old enough to hunt on his own and we are coming back home from the hunt at night, i keep smelling crap. we did run dogs hunting and i ask him did you step in dog crap. he said no with out looking. he says i smell it now and ask me if i did, i said no without looking.

so we drive a little farther and it just gets worse, i said that's it one of uf has crapped our pants, so i pull over on the side of the highway and grab a flashlight and say strip em down. he takes his coveralls off and what he had done was before we left lean up against a tree and didn't have his coveralls off enough and most of it went down in them and all over the back of his boot. i said boy yer mama gonna kill both of us.

You know…nothing personal, but I am not sure Inwould want to hunt with you…

 

[KillerFord1977]

You know…nothing personal, but I am not sure Inwould want to hunt with you…

There is hunting and there is hunting.
As long as you dont break the laws, everyone, every state and every up bringing is different.
I have no tolerance for breaking game laws, but if you gotta redneck you redneck.
I’ve hunted with folks who are lucky to have a pot to **** in and I’ve been on private jets to places far flung.

Hunt how you want. Dont break the law

 

[3L120]

You know…nothing personal, but I am not sure Inwould want to hunt with you…

Sarcasm intended. Been there done that..,brings in mind an op in the Nam. A month out in the bush and someone had repurposed a wooden ammo box container into a makeshift crapper, my assistant FO had the runs, headed to the box and sat down. The previous person had evidently lifted a bit when he used it, because Mashburn let out a strong oath and jumped up..this was at night! He was later medevaced. Having eaten a C-rat fruitcake that was evidently contaminated. So my comment about thedrizzle sh-ts.

 

[Shibadog]

Five decades ago I was a young firefighter. Working shifts I had a LOT of time to hunt, and did. I was into bow hunting. Got off at noon and went out to this cornfield. Woods on two sides. Always saw deer, trick was getting within bow range (stick bow, 20 yards or so). Anyway I’d sat there for a few hours on a warm September afternoon up against a big white oak tree.. Deer had came out an hour earlier but they were out in the picked corn 150 yards os so away. I was warm. Comfy and a bit drowsy. Dusk was coming on and I figured another 15 minutes or so and I’d hang it up. All of a sudden a Very Loud “Whuffa, Whuffa, Whuffa” sound. I about came out of my skin and the hairs on the back of my neck were all standing at attention. Then this huge thunderbolt hit like 6 ft directly in front of me. Great horned owl. He’d apparently been in my tree all day. The sound was his wings catching the wind as he dove to nail the mouse in front of me. I was in full camo with a headset and still and he apparently had been asleep when I got there. Sure made the heart race