testtest

Why am i not surprised? Taco Bell

1784331523513.jpeg

I hear that hardware stores can’t keep up with the demand for these….🤔🤔
 
Careful, folk will accuse you of wearing a tin foil hat! Seriously though, of course terrorists from places like (cough, cough 😷), Iran, would NEVER try something like that… you know such primitive tactics would never work (cough, cough 😷). Then there’s the, I don’t know, 80%+ of Americans that think fast food is nutrition…
There was an old episode of FBI where a certain group cultivated members to use a spray bottle of toxin to contaminate salad bars and in true fashion for than group after the 5th spray a needle infected the true believer doing the spraying. YEP that was TV fiction but sadly not only believable but all too possible.
 
Taco Bell Responds
·
Jul 17, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Taco Bell Releases New Imodium A-D Sauce Packets To Combat Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak
Banner Ad
U.S. — Fast-food giant Taco Bell introduced Imodium A-D sauce packets to help customers combat the explosive diarrhea caused by consuming the restaurant chain's food.

With the cyclospora outbreak traced back to lettuce served by Taco Bell, the chain moved quickly to release several flavors and offerings of Imodium AD sauce to help offset the tremendously powerful strain of diarrhea.

"Cover your Crunchwrap Supreme in delicious 'Tangy Imodium' and you'll be good to go," said Taco Bell President Meg Farren. "Just like our hot sauce, we have an entire lineup of different strengths of Imodium sauces for customers to enjoy. There's 'Mild,' 'Explosive,' and 'Dear Lord, This Is The End?' sauces. Whatever's firing out your backside, there's now a sauce for that."

Early reviews had thus far been overwhelmingly positive. "The new Imodium sauce has brought balance to the Force, so to speak," said local customer Kyle Ramirez. "Now, there's a fair fight going on inside your digestive system. There's a battle in your colon between the Kingdom of the North and the Kingdom of the South. It's a tight contest."

At publishing time, Taco Bell had announced that it was testing a new loyalty program in which every tenth bathroom visit earns customers a free crunchy taco.

Banner Ad
A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!
A friendly PSA on how to defend yourself from the explosive diarrhea parasite experts say may be found in fresh produce.



GIF
 
Back
Top