I haven't shot anything in a few years. I have in the last few months purchased a xd-m elite 4.5" 10mm and a hellcat. I took both to the daughter's place today. Her husband had a burm where we could shoot. I was very pleased with both. I was especially impressed with how manageable the 10mm was...
You can't think about two things at once. Try working a math problem and singing the star spangled banner at the same time. If your mind never loses focus on the sight picture, you won't think about recoil. If recoil comes into your mind, you aren't thinking about the sight picture.
Was talking to a Leo last week at a gun counter. I struck up a conversation with him because of the beautiful Kimber 1911 on his side. It was a 10 round 9mm. Because of the accuracy of the gun, he never felt under armed for his daily duties.
Love the feel in my hand. The xd-m elite 4.5 10mm came first. A week later I picked up the hellcat. The sights on the hellcat are the best for edc of any side arm I've seen.