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Girlfriend's gun — suggestions?

Peglegjoe said:
Rule #1 - let HER pick.

Rule #2 - do not infringe upon, or attempt to influence, Rule #1.

Rule #3 - have her take a training course, from an objective, non-personally-involved, person.

I learned rule 3 when I was selling motorcycles for years. Guys teaching their gals to ride? Great way to guarantee a divorce. No joke. You DO NOT tell her how to do...ANYTHING. If YOU teach her, any criticism will be taken as a personal attack - constructive, or not. If a 'stranger' teaches her, it becomes objective instruction. Trust me. I've seen it in action.

She needs to be comfortable with whatever she's going to carry. If she isn't comfortable wearing, carrying, handling, cleaning, and shooting it...she will lose interest and it will sit on a shelf. If the comfort level is there...she'll be dragging YOU to the range!

Let her try various guns. If you go to a range, I can pretty much guarantee other folks there will let her try a few rounds if you explain the situation. If you're in Maryland, she can run as many rounds as she wants through my XDs.

Do not tell. ASK. Don't try to steer her opinion, simply ask "how do you like that?" How does it feel. How does it make HER feel. What does she NOT like about it? Asking questions makes her analyze it, which will in turn help her pay attention to each and every round she puts through each and every weapon, and ultimately help her make her decision. Ask her the questions about details she needs to pay attention to. Do NOT give her those answers...just help her learn the right questions to ask, so she can make the right decision for herself.

HER decision.

If she asks...answer honestly. But don't voluntarily try to tell her anything - just ASK. Guide her to her own answer.

I'm going through a similar situation with a close friend. She hates guns. Terrified. Her 18 year old daughter shoots (quite well, actually). Her ex husband shoots. I shoot, and I carry daily. When I started carrying, I was very explicit with her about it and we went over the "if something happens to me and I'm incapacitated, here's how you handle/clear/safe my weapon without hurting yourself or anyone else". I found out months later that my gun scared her, and she hated me wearing it.

Last week, I found out she took a range class. We were working on a house I'm selling, she walks up to me, and says "hey, show me your grip when you shoot your gun". I was dumbfounded, and through that exercise I learned about the class, about the grip she was told to use (basically the "B" grip from the "does your grip make you miss" thread), and about how her ex, her daughter, and I, all use the same grip as each other, but it's not a "B" grip. And, she wants to try our grip, now that she understands some more reasoning behind it (which basically validated what she was thinking anyway).

Different reason for her to start shooting, to be sure, but she took it with ZERO influence (or knowledge) on my part. She took it for HER reasons, and she took it so she could stop being afraid of the machine that I wear on my hip every day.

Turns out, she actually likes shooting, and the photo I got of her first target (full-frame Glock rental) was pretty damned good. Not sure if she'll actually buy a gun, or start to carry one (that's a hurdle-from-hell here in the Republik of Maryland, but she has the advantage of being a single mom and having an employer who'll sign off on it as well)...but she has interest. For HER reasons, not mine.
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I agree with 99% of what you said, except for #1. Let her pick, but make sure it is a dependable weapon that is going to function at all times. I know this goes without saying and you didn't have to say it :)
 
I will echo everyone else in let her pick. My wife likes a wheel gun but my fourteen year old daughter prefers a semiautomatic. Neither one of them care for the subcompact handguns, not enough grip area for either to be comfortable. Definitely start with lighter recoil loads and let her work up.
 
The gals in my family that I taught started with the 22 and finished up, over a period of range trips, with the 454.
They are all petit and rocked with the 454.... Haha!
I never had problems teaching family. It was understood that I'm teacher and they are student. Explained that if I get a little firm about something it's because we aren't playing a game and can't afford to have any knuckle heads.

9mm compact seems to be the pick, except one prefers a 38 Special. Have to let them try a lot of different ones. Maybe even video them so they can review later, as how it felt and such can get lost. But a "I like this one will be recorded."

One thing I suggest of every one is to NOT purchase firearms with all those pretty colors. They are very attractive to children and we don't need that at all.
 
Kage-Maru said:
Hey gang, new to the forum and wanted to get advice on something. My girlfriend wants a CCW gun, and I was wondering if any of you have any advice (either from guns your wife/girlfriend has, or any female shooters here). I was thinking a S&W J-Frame, Springfield Hellcat or maybe a Ruger LC9. Any suggestions/thoughts?
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There are many great self defense firearms. The issue becomes what firearm is she the most comfortable with and able to operate effectively. Unfortunately the only way you can figure this out is by shooting multiple firearms until you find the one that is right for her.
 
PepperGuy said:
There are many great self defense firearms. The issue becomes what firearm is she the most comfortable with and able to operate effectively. Unfortunately the only way you can figure this out is by shooting multiple firearms until you find the one that is right for her.
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That's it PG, May actually take a week or more. Definitely don't get it because it looks pretty. I see some of those come in with the gals and it's a shame. They can't rack it. It doesn't fit in the hand. Has a 10# trigger pull. We've all seen it. All those are going to accomplish is getting the lady in trouble should she need something to defend herself with.
 
Ok, so far I have seen some good suggestions and true statements, but haven't seen any females comment. As a female shooter, things are very different for us than you guys! You said she is small, so carrying a sidearm discreetly will play into it as well, but it has to be shootable! I started with a XD mod 2 subcompact because I just really liked how it felt in my hand and was pleased I could shoot it pretty well! I really liked the grip safety, especially when I was new to shooting and wanted something to help avoid accidental/negligent discharges. It is easy to conceal in the winter, not so much in the summer. After shooting a while, I was able to go with the XDs Mod 2 and handle it, but not initially. Single stack guns typically take some time to be able to shoot well.
As much as a gun snob as I have considered myself, I have to admit the Taurus G2C is also high on my recommendations for women. For new shooters, it has a manual safety. It has a long, but light and smooth trigger pull. And though I hate to admit it, I am more accurate with it than much higher priced guns. I have had no reliability issues with mine.
I have not yet tried out the Hellcat, but from the reviews I have seen my initial feeling is it is not a "starter gun" for females. It seems to shoot much like a single stack gun. While it appears to be a great sidearm, not my recommendation for a new to handguns female shooter.
One very real factor that is not so much for men as women, is ability to rack the slide. Guns like Smith & Wesson are typically very tight and I find them very tough to rack. I'm a 5-8 and basically a farm girl, and I find S&W's very unpleasant. It is important she is able to handle the gun in all aspects. Make sure what ever she takes home, it not only feels good in her hands, but she can operate it....and not just the trigger.

Good luck. Stay safe.
 
Caanuride said:
Ok, so far I have seen some good suggestions and true statements, but haven't seen any females comment. As a female shooter, things are very different for us than you guys! You said she is small, so carrying a sidearm discreetly will play into it as well, but it has to be shootable! I started with a XD mod 2 subcompact because I just really liked how it felt in my hand and was pleased I could shoot it pretty well! I really liked the grip safety, especially when I was new to shooting and wanted something to help avoid accidental/negligent discharges. It is easy to conceal in the winter, not so much in the summer. After shooting a while, I was able to go with the XDs Mod 2 and handle it, but not initially. Single stack guns typically take some time to be able to shoot well.
As much as a gun snob as I have considered myself, I have to admit the Taurus G2C is also high on my recommendations for women. For new shooters, it has a manual safety. It has a long, but light and smooth trigger pull. And though I hate to admit it, I am more accurate with it than much higher priced guns. I have had no reliability issues with mine.
I have not yet tried out the Hellcat, but from the reviews I have seen my initial feeling is it is not a "starter gun" for females. It seems to shoot much like a single stack gun. While it appears to be a great sidearm, not my recommendation for a new to handguns female shooter.
One very real factor that is not so much for men as women, is ability to rack the slide. Guns like Smith & Wesson are typically very tight and I find them very tough to rack. I'm a 5-8 and basically a farm girl, and I find S&W's very unpleasant. It is important she is able to handle the gun in all aspects. Make sure what ever she takes home, it not only feels good in her hands, but she can operate it....and not just the trigger.

Good luck. Stay safe.
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Thank you for a woman's input to this thread. When anybody asks about something for their girl friend, I think a woman can give much better feedback than one of us men.
 
We tried a couple of the smaller guns with my wife on her first serious trip .380/9mms which she didn't like. Finally ended up liking my EMP 9mm. She now has a Shield EZ .380 and a P365 XL both with lasers and shoots everything from my 44 mag to 22LR. She really enjoys my Professional in 9mm. I think starting out on a 4" - 5" in a 9 mm is a good beginning because recoil/flip is very manageable
 
As a guy helping a gal I'd also recommend showing her a variety of options in the size/caliber class she's interested in. Go through each and allow her to check each out. Discuss the pluses & minuses, and let her make the final decision.
 
My wife carries a 642 J-frame. Point and shoot. Safe. Stopping power. No hammer to hang on stuff. No jams against the body.

She also has an SA 911 .380, but she’s convinced the .380 won’t stop anybody; from listening to me too much I guess.

I recommend a gun with multiple carry options (safeties, decockers, etc) unless she’s very comfortable with guns. Actually I recommend the j-frame, but she may want something else.
 
Caanuride said:
Ok, so far I have seen some good suggestions and true statements, but haven't seen any females comment. As a female shooter, things are very different for us than you guys! You said she is small, so carrying a sidearm discreetly will play into it as well, but it has to be shootable! I started with a XD mod 2 subcompact because I just really liked how it felt in my hand and was pleased I could shoot it pretty well! I really liked the grip safety, especially when I was new to shooting and wanted something to help avoid accidental/negligent discharges. It is easy to conceal in the winter, not so much in the summer. After shooting a while, I was able to go with the XDs Mod 2 and handle it, but not initially. Single stack guns typically take some time to be able to shoot well.
As much as a gun snob as I have considered myself, I have to admit the Taurus G2C is also high on my recommendations for women. For new shooters, it has a manual safety. It has a long, but light and smooth trigger pull. And though I hate to admit it, I am more accurate with it than much higher priced guns. I have had no reliability issues with mine.
I have not yet tried out the Hellcat, but from the reviews I have seen my initial feeling is it is not a "starter gun" for females. It seems to shoot much like a single stack gun. While it appears to be a great sidearm, not my recommendation for a new to handguns female shooter.
One very real factor that is not so much for men as women, is ability to rack the slide. Guns like Smith & Wesson are typically very tight and I find them very tough to rack. I'm a 5-8 and basically a farm girl, and I find S&W's very unpleasant. It is important she is able to handle the gun in all aspects. Make sure what ever she takes home, it not only feels good in her hands, but she can operate it....and not just the trigger.

Good luck. Stay safe.
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Thank you, most essential comment to this thread.....
 
My wife seems happy with this.comes in handy at Walmart parking lot
 

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I don't totally agree with the "let her pick" advice. I understand the thought but there is a counterintuitive concept that's important for her to know before she picks. A lot of women, men too, pick a small gun because they find it less intimidating but a small gun can be harder to handle from recoil. If she's carrying on body then she's got to go small but if she will be using a purse or something a heavier gun in 9mm would be a lot easier to handle. They are more fun to shoot, easier to operate and less punishing than the tiny guns. Let her pick but make sure she thinks through how she'll carry and the benefits of a larger, heavier gun.
 
Robotaz said:
My wife carries a 642 J-frame. Point and shoot. Safe. Stopping power. No hammer to hang on stuff. No jams against the body.

She also has an SA 911 .380, but she’s convinced the .380 won’t stop anybody; from listening to me too much I guess.

I recommend a gun with multiple carry options (safeties, decockers, etc) unless she’s very comfortable with guns. Actually I recommend the j-frame, but she may want something else.
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I like the 642 J-frame. If the 38 spcl+P ammo was an indication of stopping power, it would be better than a 9mm. Unfortunately, from all my research, that isn't true.
 
This thread reminds me of an interesting range experience. Went to the range with a friend and his wife to help them find something for her. While there I noticed a group of girls that had no idea of what was going on. So after a while of seeing enough of the three stooges I asked if I could help. It seemed one of their bfs/or the stooge at the counter wanted to mess with them.
I cant remember what they had but they could not handle the recoil.
I got the attendant to bring out a Sig P238 and their groups and experience changed dramatically.
Then they broke out with a scoped Winchester 94, that they had mounted. Needless to say my deed was done and I wasn't about to spend the rest of my night trying to mount and level a 14x scope on a saddle rifle.

Oh, and my friends wife ended up wanting to get the p238, but after she played well with a 1911. We got her into a Sig P938.
 
One can never go wrong with a J frame revolver. However, I would take a good look at the S&W 9mm Shield EZ. The slide is said to be much easier to charge...Then, as others have said, get good instruction.
 
southtex said:
We tried a couple of the smaller guns with my wife on her first serious trip .380/9mms which she didn't like. Finally ended up liking my EMP 9mm. She now has a Shield EZ .380 and a P365 XL both with lasers and shoots everything from my 44 mag to 22LR. She really enjoys my Professional in 9mm. I think starting out on a 4" - 5" in a 9 mm is a good beginning because recoil/flip is very manageable
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EMP in 9mm is an awesome gun.
 
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